<- Happy 27th Birthday Elise ->
It was Dana's golden birthday on the 23rd and it is Elise's Golden birthday today.
So Elise's birthday is almost over now which means two things. First that halloween is four days away and second it means that my birthday is only 30 days away. I cannot start counting yet because Amandas bithday is before mine and that would be stealing her thunder.
The only thing about it being my birthday that I hate so very friggin much is that for a period after I pretty much am disappointed by my friends and it never fails and I go into a deep depression. I do not want to toot my own horn here but the ones that I am close to I always go out of my way to either help plan or just outright plan their birthday or do something suprising for them no matter what the deal is and it is never returned. Last Year my dinner party sucked because everyone had something else to do or somewhere else to go which is typical of my dodging friends. Or they just forget pretty much. Even my mom often forgets and the reason why is that when she remembers two weeks earlier she buys me a present right at that time and then sends me a card two weeks after my birthday. And then shortly after that is Christmas which we all know how much I hate is so we can safely say that right around this time of year I just want to hide away from it all and not get trapped in my head. It is hard though so I am hoping that maybe something will be different this year, though I hope that every m-fing year.
So Elise was hooking up with Melissa in that I really should not be hooking up with you kind of way which sucks major ass for Melissa incase she really likes her.
Elise got a pretty cool camera phone tonight from the 'rents which was a super cool gift because it is so incredibly hard to find her when she is out. It is kind of a safety net for me as well because sometimes when my day just is not going right and I need someone to motivate my butt out of bed in a nice way she is a good person to call.
Thank God for leather seat warmers because my car would be freezing any other way.
Sarah wrote me an email even though I thought she would never respond. I killed her with kindness and tons of apologies and this is what I got in return I will post it...Happy Reading...
Hey Larissa,
Thank you for apparently resending this email. I didn't get it the first time for some reason. A couple of my other friends said they sent me things and I didn't get them so I don't know what's going on with my email account. Also, I haven't checked my email in a bit because I had a HUGE exam on Friday, and I've been studying like crazy for it. I apologize profusely for the delay in responding to this email.
I want you to know that I love everything about you and I don't want you to act anything less than what you feel like acting. If that means you feel like saying or doing something I want you to go ahead. In my mind, nothing is going to hurt our friendship. I have a great time with you and I'm selfish in that I want to spend all my time with you when I actually do get to see you. Probably selfish to a fault, and that's my problem not yours.
I know you can handle everything that happens... You are a strong independant woman and I don't want you to feel like I'm just talking to you to make sure you aren't hurt.
I know how I feel about you.. and I'm just not good at getting it across... You are an amazing woman...someone I look up to and admire, and frankly I am dumbstruck everytime you talk or even smile. I think youre gorgeous and everything any woman would be lucky to have, but I just know I'm not right myself right now.
I still want us to be wonderful friends... I mean, all I think about is that night you took me to Elsa's and Taylors, and even though I felt a little ucky for a bit, I had a great time... I had a phenomenal time. I want us to be able to do that again.
I hope I've made myself understandable, because you made yourself completely understandable to me, and I want to do the same for you. I also want you to be candid if you have a problem or a question...
I can't wait to talk to you again,
Sarah
new world new diary - 2004-10-12
Damn Gina - 2004-05-28
work, work, work - 2004-05-11
work, work, work - 2004-05-11
What s Up - 2004-05-04