<- Shady Bitch! ->
Ummmm, I woke up Wednesday morning really sad and started crying and I could not pull it together at all. I was really upset because I wanted to go home for my birthday (since it was on a weekday) and my mom replied, "well you can come home but I am not going to be there." The sadness in this all was not so much that I could not go home but this is the prime example of my relationship with my mom and how it has always been. She seems not to understand how important having a family and being able to go home is. And her reason for not being there is because she is going to the Caribbean. Also keep in mind that I see my mom on average about twice a year since I was 14yrs. old so I do not think I am being unreasonable here.
Then in the same convo. I inquire about our trip to Germany and Switzerland next month and she gives some shitty reason why we cannot go. So being the person that I am I come up with an answer to solve the problem. When she realizes that all the lies she is telling I am going to come up with a solution for she finally admitts that her sort of boyfriend is coming to visit that week from Chile. Note that she just went to Chile last month to see him. I was pretty fucking upset on Tuesday but I just pushed it back, went out to play trivia at Hooligans and everything and then I woke up to tears. All I could think was that I wished that my brother and I were first on her list of priorities because that is the way it should be. And I wondered why my brother is so much stronger than I am about all of this. He laughs it off and chalks her up to being a shady bitch pretty much and admitts that he does not like her. I cannot do that I want to like her I want to believe she has good intentions but alas she is proving me wrong again and again.
I finally pulled it together Thursday morning and got over it but it was best that I just hung out in my room.
It sucks to be depressed, I want to stop thinking about things like this and just accept that my mom is not my mother but just a really close friend.
new world new diary - 2004-10-12
Damn Gina - 2004-05-28
work, work, work - 2004-05-11
work, work, work - 2004-05-11
What s Up - 2004-05-04